hi guys.since nobody in my class can EVER read my blog,i can be me again.(i cant trust them anymore after what happen)phew!its so hard to please them can.its like fire and water u wanna force them to mix together.

i am very surprised with myself actually.for the first time of my life i can hold back the tears,and dun show them i'm still weak.they fear me now.


my classmate abigail wrote:"kudos to you!you can act as though nothing has happened?stop being so two faced,drop the facade(act) for a moment and admit that its just a FAIL sad attempt to fit in."


Another classmate Azia wrote last fri when i wasn't acting normal:"Don't think too highly of yourself cos today friend you have fallen flat on the ground."


about what abigail wrote,why should i blend in?they chose me,not the other way round.they thought i was LIKE THEM,rich,from international sch and all.i know i speak diff frm s'poreans but this is called judging a book by the cover.


this world will only have 1 SOPHIA CHUA MOON MIN,crazy and hyper,caring and concerned about how people feel and all.i gave up blending in long time ago even before the chalet incident.i can never be like them.i felt something was missing in the grp.and thats what i found back.care.



People who i thought i could count on when i was in trouble where the same ones who would cause harm to me.whereas the people that they label as "BAD" aren't who they seem to be.they are more caring,concerned about their classmates well-being.and act like from gangs.in a good way.as in brother la.stick together if gt trouble.



why am i writing this when it upsets me so much??its to remind me looks can be ARE DECEIVING.everyone says i changed so much they dont recognise me anymore.especially my colleagues at mac.i am getting scared i change my character so much.but i'm getting stronger,in a way.



i'm like the johari window.I didn't know i could be this strong(the unknown area).its thanks to daddy and friends who uncovered this side of me.

i looked down from the 6th floor corridor in front of my hse for 30mins.yep.i wanted to.but no.something just hit me.why should i?no point wasting my life over such ppl.this is what they expect me to do.and i shud do the opposite.enjoy what they do to me,make them pissed off instead.smile when they scold me.confirm all the fucking words come out.hahaha.


i should thank the drunk guy who ruined everything.if nt for him,i wont see the grp's true colors.i was shocked by the 180 degrees change.super shocked.i thanks u guys too who were there for me.love you guys so much.i will fight this war,for your sakes.i will be strong cos i still have people around me who care.hugs and kisses.thanks for being there.